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Love and Pancit

By Tom Meek (2005)

 

 

 

          Erv Meany was already unhappy to be working on his fiftieth birthday, let alone having to wear an oversized Kris Kringle hat. The day had not gone particularly well. Earlier, two girls with pierced midriffs had gotten their kicks by dropping four pair of lacy red Spiderman thongs on his register stand. They were seeking a refund. When he directed them upstairs to the women’s boutique, they giggled coyly and insisted on his aide, citing that they were in a rush and that the line upstairs was far too long. Begrudgingly Erv complied and when he scooped up the mound of feathery light undergarments, one of the girls, immediately ecstatic, informed him that she had worn a pair that very morning. The two exploded into laughter and fled. The holidays had drawn miserably near for Erv Meany and now, despite his efforts to spend as much time in the solace of the stockroom, an agent of agitation named Rufus was telling him what to do.

          The price on them all says four ninety-nine, Rufus said, pointing through the web of tricked out Christmas lights that included blinking Black Santas and Grinches with satchels of Budweiser beer. 

          Erv glanced across the sandy red washed concrete, beyond the racks of cheap leather flight jackets, fake fox fur stoles and a rotating tower full of party games and gag gifts, to the pyramid of lava lamps and then took stock of his tormentor. Everything about himhis spiked, jet-black hair, the Beat Bush T with a gonzo green imp clubbing the 43rd President of the United States with an oversized mallet and the tattoo of a transmogrified Cerberus on his armscreamed degenerate. Erv would never let his son grow up to be like that.  You really didn’t think that was going to be four ninety-nine, did you?

          That’s what it says.

          Erv looked down at the credit card on the glass countertop. There’s obviously a mistake. It’s forty-nine ninety-nine. In the upper left hand corner, the identity theft-proofed card bore a miniscule laminated rendering of Rufus, which was far different than the incarnation before him. In the picture Rufus had a boyish face and natural, sandy blonde hair that lay flat against his scalp. Do you want me to run it?

          I’ll tell you what I want, Rufus said as he leaned onto the glass encasement that housed ersatz Native American jewelry produced in a Thai sweatshop. I want to see the manager.     

           He’d tell you the same thing I’m telling you.

          The last thing Erv wanted was to see his manager. At one point they had been agreeable, but not anymore. The doughy man-boy was controlling in demeanor and fastidious in appearance. Erv often wondered how much time he spent before the mirror each day. The spiked hairs were always cropped to the same uniformed length and the rotund bellywhich Erv had the privilege of seeing jiggle under a tight T one afternoon in the stockroomwas tidily concealed behind baggy, double-breasted gray suits and a crimson red or violet-blue oxford, that clashed with the bright, patterned bowtie. He went by the name of Stephano, though his given name was Stanley. Erv loathed his job and Stephano went out of his way to make his employment at Urban Chic a Jobian nightmare.

          Well, grandpa, Rufus said, rapping his fingers on the glass, are you going to page him?

           Excuse me? Erv said, raising a brow into the fluffy trim of the sagging Santa hat.

          Rufus stuck his face within inches of Erv’s, and spoke in a slow, deliberate manner, over articulating each syllable. I said, are-you-going-to-page-the-manager?

          Erv could taste the stale cigarettes and spearmint gum on his breath. No, before that.

          Oh that, Rufus said, drawing back with a smirk. It’s kinda creepy that someone like you works here. What up with that?

          It was true. Erv was old enough to be most of the clientele’s father or even grandfather. The personnel, too, were largely a reflection of the customer base: students, rockers and other young urbanites who were pierced, inscribed and branded with the trappings of the alternative lifestyle that the store targeted and thrived upon. Everything Urban Chic sold was meant to look worn (ripped jeans), deformed (melting clock faces), hip-hop or retro-hip, and always street wise.

The store too was no exception. The large glass panes that abutted the sidewalk were webbed with fractures as if a gang of malcontents had bricked them. It was all intentional, conceived by a designer, as part of the master contrivance to conjure a minimalist post-industrial atmosphere. The interior was nothing but concrete and steel with a smattering of pressboard, as if a factory had been sterilized after the last shift and prepped for a rave later that evening. The music, which Erv loved to hate, got lost in corners, echo eddies and distortion, making it nearly indecipherable. As much as Erv despised the concept of and the clientele at Urban Chic, he admired the slick moneymaking machinery that made it hum, and at this juncture in his life, he was thankful to just be a lynchpin anywhere, even Urban Chic.

          It’s of no concern to you.

          Rufus slapped a hand down on the glass counter. The glass rattled in its metal sleeves. What does concern me though, is the price on this tag.

          Erv wanted to leap over the counter and put Rufus in the figure four wrestling hold he had honed to lethal perfection in high school. Then he thought about the long arduous process of finding work again and how disappointed his wife would be. Besides his son, she was the only thing good in his life. She would have his favorite dish, chicken pancit, waiting for him when he got home. For a fleeting moment he could taste the spicy noodles and succulent shredded chicken accented by cabbage, soy and spring onion. Charlie would be there too. His ex-wife had promised. Then he wondered if Racine would have the audacity to have Scoop Webster drop Charlie off again.  He didn’t think she could be that unkind, but on the phone when he protested, she rebuffed him, telling him that they were all adults and that he needed to get over it for Charlie’s sake.

          Before Erv could realize what was going on, Rufus had seized the phone alongside the cash register and was punching away at the buttons. The grunge rock Christmas carol that filled the store was replaced by Rufus’s scratchy voice. Paging the manager, he said. Will the manager please come down to the front desk, I need to report an act of extreme incompetence. Please report to the front desk. Over.

          Erv hit the kill button on the base and held his hand out. Give me that.

          I’ll give it to the manager when he gets here.

          Erv could feel the muscles around his temples tighten. The impulse to give a mighty rip on the cord was assuaged by the tangy aroma of pancit, his wife serving him a Manhattan and Charlie bounding into his arms. He took a deep breath, let it out slowly and disconnected the receiver from the phone. The coil sprung free, bouncing wildly before it came to a sedate dangle below Rufus’s clenched hand. Erv disconnected the base of the phone too and slid it into a cubbyhole at the back of the cashier stand. His well-worn snorkel jacket and other employees’ paraphernalia filled the top shelves, so he had to bend far down to get at the vacant bottom row. It was a task his son, Rufus or any of the store’s clientele could perform with ease, but at his age, the strain to bend the knees and the pressure on the lower back stabbed at him like teaming piranhas. As he rose, the Santa hat slid down over his brow. All he could see was a white fuzziness and a smattering of distant blinking lights. When Erv finally whisked the hat from his head, Stephano was standing there next to Rufus, his arms crossed, a bulldog scowl on his face, his neck red and bulging over a tight collar secured by a spring yellow bowtie that bore a pterodactyl motif.

          What is going on here, Meany? Stephano demanded.

          Erv blinked blankly for a moment. The refracted glare from the German track lighting on Stephano’s glasses made his eyes indecipherable and insect-like. He wants to pay five dollars for a fifty dollar lava lamp.

          That’s what the price tag said, Rufus interjected with a trickle of politeness that had not been afforded to Erv.

          Stephano picked up the lava lamp box and rotated it his hands, scrutinizing each of the six surfaces. Who marked these?

          The question hit Erv like a hammer.  Instinctively he shrugged.

          You don’t know?

          Erv stared down at the sand colored concrete between his Timberlands. Me, I guess.

          Stephano placed the lamp back down on the counter.  You guess? You don’t know what you did two days ago?  He glared at Erv as if that might force a response, but when none came, he half turned away and then quickly pivoted back, shaking a hand in the air. I knew this wouldn’t work.  I just knew it! I told Isabelle that, but she insisted I give you a chance.  Stephano his arms spread in a wide-opened V. And now look at this!

          Isabelle was Stephano’s stepmother and childhood friend of Maria Soledad, Erv’s wife of twenty-eight months. Isabelle possessed no telltale accent and was fluidly conversant in English, unlike Marisol who nodded and smiled incessantly. At first Erv didn’t think she comprehend half of what he said, but whenever he instructed her as to what to purchase at the supermarket, how to get places on public transportation or where to pick up Charlie, she always produced the correct result. As they had planned in simple sentences over the Internet, they were married three weeks after she got off the plane from Manila. She was everything Erv had hoped for and more. Fifteen years his junior and more stunning in person than her digital renderings. He had never dated a woman of color before, and while he harbored some reservations about appearances and the cultural differences, her exotic featuresthe olive-tan complexion, the tiny snub-nose, the dark, thick lips and her almond-shaped eyesand childlike innocence erased any concern. Erv took great joy in watching her flutter about their tiny basement flat, bringing order and shine to where there had been grunge and decay. After Racine he never imagined that a woman of such unequivocal beauty would ever again earnestly bear her naked body before him. She restored his manhood, his sense of pride and she could cook too, but he often wondered if she truly loved him, as she professed to, or if it was a well-performed act to secure a green card. The only thing she ever asked of him was to bring her ailing mother to the states. He was slow to take up the cause once it had been divulged, but after she sulked around the apartment for a week, void of the effervescence that ignited him, he promised her he would do as she wished as soon as they saved up enough money for a bigger place.

          Before Erv lost his first wife to Scoop Webster, he lost his job as a computer operator. It had been a lucrative profession when he first graduated college, but as technology evolved and his skill set became less specialized, the job was eventually shipped overseas. Erv was arduous in his pursuit of new paths to remain financially viable, but after several starts-and-stops, his wife delivered the unpleasant news. She got the house in Roslindale and custody of Charlie.  Scoop Webster, the successful contractor who had remodeled their kitchen under cost, took over Erv’s side of the bed while Erv moved into a shabby basement apartment in the part of city known as the student slum. Out of necessity he took nowhere jobs doing data entry, night security, bar back, mailroom clerk and less. None of them stuck. The Lexus he so cherishednow rusted and dullwas repossessed. Erv’s only solace came from the bottle, a revelation Racine use in court to challenge his visitation rights. The infidelity hurt, but the prospect of losing Charlie was insufferable. Wanting to give them nothing more, Erv retreated and withdrew, keeping to himself, hovering in the cold glow of the computer, sipping cheap scotch and surfing the Internet, praying that a click of the mouse would change his fortunes.                

          Erv first met Stephano at a Filipino styled barbeque at Isabelle’s townhouse in Back Bay.  She and Marisol had set the whole thing up. He balked at the notion of working for his wife’s best friend’s stepson, but eventually need and Marisol’s pleas outlasted his pride. Stephano was cordial at first, but as Erv began to spend less time in the stockroom and more time behind the register, Stephano took greater exception with his appearance. Dressing like a lumberjack or Wally Cleaver is okay, if you can do it with style, Stephano said, but we’re trying to sell an image here, and we want to present that image to our customers. Put some mousse in your hair, clash a little, but be fresh. Stephano later presented Erv with a silky, white and chartreuse striped oxford and a bola tie, telling him it matched his personality and gave him the righteous image to interact with the clientele. What he didn’t tell Erv was that he had deducted the cost of the shirt and from his paycheckapplying the employee discount of thirty-three percent, of course. Erv accepted the shirt with sincere humility. It almost made working for someone younger and doing work he believed beneath him, palatable, but later, after he discovered his paycheck had been cropped, he tore off the shirt in a middle of a shift and gave it to Old Harold, the wino who loitered about the storefront. Erv even went so far as to tell Harold that the shirt was in fact a gift from Stephano and that he should thank him for his kindness.  The big bear hug that Harold laid on Stephano one morning changed everything.

           It’s been what, six months, Meany? Stephano said. You’d think in that time, you’d have learned how to mark items correctly. I don’t think that’s asking too much. Do you think that’s asking too much?

 

           I dunno, Erv glanced down at the credit cared and lava lamp floating above the silver and turquoise jewelry. He could feel the perspiration build on his brow and dankness well up under his arms. I could just re-mark them, he finally mumbled.

          A single brow rose up into the furrowed, pasty expanse of Stephano’s forehead, That’s not the problem, Meany. Do you know what the problem is?

          Erv shook his head apprehensively. Rufus was now beaming confidently over Stephano’s shoulder.

          I didn’t think so! Stephano bellowed, and then quickly aware that his outburst had drawn shoppers away from the business of buying, stepped closer to the stand to burke the burgeoning spectacle. The problem is, Stephano said in a less acrid, less audible tone, I have a customer here that I need to satisfy. We told him one thing and now you want to charge his a different price. How do you propose I rectify that?

          Erv shrugged. Tell him there was a mistake and that the lamp costs forty-nine, ninety-nine.

          Not acceptable, Meany! Not acceptable! Stephano croaked on the brink of a shout. His face was now bright red and spittle danced from his lips. I’ll tell you what I am going to do, I am going to sell it to him for four forty-nine, and you are going to cover the difference out of your own pocket and then, after the store closes, with no OT, you’ll re-mark them. That’s my solution, Meany. What do you think of it?

           Chicken shit, Erv muttered under his breath.

          Srephano cupped a hand to his ear. I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.

          Erv snatched the lava lamp off the counter.

          If that’s all Meany, please ring it up as discussed. A line is forming. People are waiting. Let’s get things moving.

          Erv could feel the eyes and murmurs from around the store hone in on him. Rufus’s smirk had freed itself from its tight, restrained press and was now a wide-faced grin. The weight of the lamp in his hand called to him. In the mounting humiliation of the moment, it was his only ally. Slowly, as if unsteady or unsure, he shifted his weight to his back foot and cocked the lamp above his head like an old-school quarterback like Fran Trakenton, Johnny Unitas or Sammy Baugh that he idolized as a youth playing Pop Warner. The posture felt good and familiar, his arm suddenly strong and able. He could see it all so clearly, the lamp hurtling across the room in a neat, tight spiral, the surprise on the faces as it zipped by and the pyramid of boxes collapsing after an exact strike.

          The tintinnabulation of the sleigh bells above the door killed Erv’s impulse.

          Dad! a voice called out from somewhere in the store.

          Erv was in cold disbelief. Standing at the storefront, insouciantly swiping a plaid cap from his head, was Scoop Webster. Even though they were the same age, Scoop still had a full head of hair and the toned body of someone half his age.

          Erv’s ten-year-old son pushed his way between two wholesome coeds with a card in an outstretched hand. Happy birthday, Dad. the boy exclaimed.

          Charlie, what are you doing here?

          Surprising you.

          Surprising me?  What? Whose idea was that? By now Scoop had made his way over to the counter. He was happy to see his son, yes, that was the day’s one true redemption, but not Scoop Webster, not the man who had taken so much from him, not the man whose actions had placed him in a personal purgatory.  Erv couldn’t think of a worse scenario to mark his half-century.

          Happy birthday, Scoop said, extending a hand.

          Erv disregarded the gesture. What are you doing here? What’s he doing here?

          Racine and Marisol thought it would be a nice thing. I wasn’t going to come in, but there was this weird guy out front and I just wanted to make sure Charlie got in okay.

          That’s just Old Harold, Stephano interjected. He’s harmless. No need to sweat it.  Now can we get things moving?

          Racine and Marisol talk? Erv said in staccato, his voice cracking.

          Yeah, every now and then, you know, as much as can be.

          Erv stood there blinking with celerity, trying to digest the information Scoop had just fed him.

          Can I just go to another register? Rufus asked, the glee long gone from his face.

          How long have Racine and Marisol been in communication?    

           Meany, Stephano asserted.

          Dad, Charlie said, holding the card higher.

          Erv ignored his son and manager and continued to gaze at Scoop, hoping to shake some shred of rationale that would explain the backroom dealings that had submerged the day that was supposed to be his. The more he thought about it, the more it made his head hurt.

          Meany, what are you doing? Stephano said as he tried to pry the box from Erv’s grasp. Get this line moving or you’ll end up on the street.
          Time began to slow. Erv glanced quickly at Stephano’s angry and determined face and then turned his attention to his son.

          Can we go now? the boy pleaded.

          Just a minute Charlie, I’ve just got to finish up. He could feel Stephano’s fingers digging into his fingers, working at the box. It was a battle of wills waged by sixteen digits and four opposable thumbs. He was fighting for his manhood and his pride, or that’s what he wanted to believe, but then a sense of shame and helplessness suddenly filled him. He was at a loss as to what to do next. All he wanted was to be at home with Marisol and Charlie, his son’s respect intact and a full plate of pancit before him.

           Lay off, Scoop said, placing a hand on Stephano’s shoulder.

          Stephano’s eyes suddenly filled his moon shaped head as if he had been doused by a bucket of icy water. Don’t touch me! he snorted.

          Show a little respect, that’s all I’m saying.
         
No, you show me some respect and take your hands off me.

          Let’s just calm down, OK?

          Get off me! Stephano said as he tried to push Scoop away.

          Scoop didn’t budge. You don’t want to get into that.

          Stephano then slammed a palm into Scoop’s sternum. You get your hands off me or I’ll call the police. 

          This time Scoop rocked backwards, to the point of almost losing his balance, but quickly snapped back, gripping even deeper into Stephano’s padded shoulder. I’m telling you, play it smart.

          Stephano tussled in frustration. The older man owned him. As hard as he wriggled and contorted, there was nothing he could do and when he finally reached his breaking point, Stephano struck his captor in the face with an open hand. That was all the invitation Scoop needed. The fifty-year-old without a trace of gray in his strawberry-golden locks cocked his elbow by his side and released a crisp uppercut. Stephano’s head jerked back cleanly. A spurt of blood arced upwards and rained down on the glass above the silver and turquoise jewelry. The manager staggered a half step backwards into the register stand and slowly slumped to the floor, blood flowing freely between fingers clamped around his nose.

          Fucking cool, Rufus commented, looking like a cackling hyena over recently discovered carrion.

          Sorry ‘bout that, Scoop said to nobody as he placed the Scottish cap snuggly on his head. When he had it adjusted to an agreeable position he extended the hand that had just dispatched Erv’s boss. There was a thick droplet of dark red blood on the freckled mid-knuckle of the index finger. 

          What the hell did you do that for? Erv demanded.

          Do what?

          Everywhere you go, you f, screw up, my life, and what kind of an example does it set for him?

          Hey, I was just trying to help. The guy had it coming.

          Don’t you think that’s my call? If you want to help in the future, just don’t do anything. Stay away from me.

          Scoop held his hands half way up in a mock surrender. Ok buddy, you have a good night, and happy birthday.

          Erv watched as Scoop snaked his way through the store, casually whistling through puffed cheeks. The bell chimed his departure and Erv turned to his son who had held the manila envelope in an offering posture throughout the entire fracas. Thanks, Erv said taking the card and rubbing the top of his son’s blonde head.  The light buoyancy of the hairs under his palm nearly brought tears to his eyes. Let me get my jacket and we can go. The snorkel was the kind of retro-hip relic that had gone in and out of style at Urban Chic. Two years prior it had been the store’s hottest selling commodity, but to Erv Meany, it was just a cold weather necessity that he had owned for seventeen years.

          Erv leaned over the counter. Are you okay? he asked of his former manager.

          Stephano dabbed at his face with a scarf he had pulled from a nearby display rack and responded with a defiant, limp-wristed flail of an arm.

          The palm of Erv’s hand pressed down on Rufus’s credit card. Okay, have it you way. As Erv retracted across the countertop he whisked up the birthday card and credit card in a single, quick scoop and slid the rigid flat forms into one of the snorkel’s cavernous pockets. Come on Charlie. He took the boy’s small smooth hand in his and walked out into the cold night air. Erv drank in a deep breath of liberation. The prospect of looking for a job in a down economy, at the time of year when no one was hiring, didn’t seem as hopeless and monumental as it had been in the past.

          They walked down the street, around the corner and to the bubble glassed encasement where a mass transit bus would pick them up and deliver them to Marisol and the small basement flat. The streetlight above the stand was out and the building façade behind them offered nothing but black rectangles of nothingness. Besides an occasional passing car, they were alone together in the dark.

          Dad, will Scoop get in trouble with the police?

          He shouldn’t have done what he did. It’s not right hitting people, you know that right?

          Sure Pa, but will he have to go to jail?

          I really don’t think so.

          Are you sure?

          I’m pretty sure, but it still doesn’t make it right.

          Ma said Scoop was going to get me an X-Box for Christmas if my grades are good.

          Erv instinctively dug into his pocket, feeling beyond the manila envelope and to the small plastic rectangle. Really? His dislike of Scoop Webster had waned since Marisol had come into his life. Scoop eased financial pressure and he was polite and respectful of boundaries, but Erv was leery of Scoop’s relationship with his son. Racine was one thing, but Erv would be damned if anyone would try to unseat him as Charlie’s father.

          There was a sudden commotion in the alleyway behind them. The hollow thud of empty boxes being flung against a wall was followed by chaotic rustling and shuffling that moved towards them. Just as it seemed ready to announce its source, it stopped. They waited in silence, anticipating, but nothing came. Finally there was what sounded like a belch and a groan. Erv instinctively pulled Charlie behind him. And again nothing, then, just as Erv was about to write the ordeal off as an alley cat or a projection of his own paranoia, a dark figure lurched out onto the sidewalk. Adrenaline stiffened Erv’s body. The hair on the back of his neck bristled. His forearms tightened. But then a passing car gave him cause to relax. It was only Old Harold.

          Evening folks, Harold said, taking an awkward step forward as if the joints in that leg we incapable of bending. He rolled a hand across his matted noggin and bowed faintly as if he were a member of aristocracy saluting his queen. Spare any change? Coin is good, green is better.

          Erv wasn’t particularly in the mood to humor Harold, though he felt sorry for him and often saw the gangly stick of a man as his worst nightmare realized: a laid off computer operator without a Marisol or Charlie in his life and little to live for. Even so, Erv admired Harold’s resolve. The man whose beard bore greater mass than his bones was always polite and never intrusive in his pandering, and seemed outwardly happier than most with a roof over their heads.

          That’s a nice looking boy you got there. Bet he grows up to be an ace pitcher or maybe President. Harold let out a hoot. How about that? I’ve met the President!

          Erv valued Harold primarily because Stephano loathed him. He always threatened to call the police whenever Harold panhandled outside the store, but many of Urban Chic’s customers were bemused by Harold’s silly street rants and often hung out with him, smoking cigarettes, just beyond the fractured panes of glass, plainly in the store manager’s sight. It drove Stephano nuts and Erv relished every moment of it.

          Charlie tugged on Erv’s jacket, Dad, can we give him some money? He doesn’t have a home or anything to eat.

          Harold laughed. I got plenty of homes. I got homes in Alston, one next to Mass General, down by the Charles and even Beacon Hill. I got them everywhere. I got more homes than I know what to do with.

          Erv pulled his hand from his pocket and Harold likewise, in Pavlovian response, held out his palm.

Erv looked at the credit card and then at Harold, wanton and waiting. After a quick deliberation he folded the card in half and then into quarters and tossed the broken pieces into the alleyway.

          Why’d you do that? Harold asked.

          Ain’t nothing but trouble for you or me. Erv dug into his pant pocket and extracted fourteen dollars and sixty-nine cents. It was two-forty to get home. He handed the ten to Harold.

          Harold smiled a big dirty-toothed grin. You manager types, you’re always full of surprises, aren’t you? Much gratitude, thanks and God bless.

          Ever since Erv gave Harold the silk oxford and bola tie Harold called him Mr. Manager. He dropped an arm over his son’s shoulder and watched as Harold’s cockeyed form bobbled down the street, moving from one pool of light to the next until he was eventually consumed by the night.

          Dad?

          Yes Charlie?

          Ma said Marisol is making pan sit, what’s that?

          It’s something very yummy and very special.

          Mom says it’s like weird Chinese food.
         
Your mother is entitled to her own opinions, even if they’re unfounded.

          What’s a green card?

          Why do you ask?

          Because one night Ma told Scoop, Marisol was all about the green card.

          A car passed, illuminating the boy’s face. His features were angelic and frail, yet there was determination in his eyes, Meany determination, a determination Erv had put there, a determination he had nearly lost. The question was a good one. Erv wrestled with it every day. At first he was oblivious, roiling in the bliss of having such a woman and the ablution of new beginning, but as time wore on the issue began to weigh on him. If his marriage was based on trade offs, then so be it. It was far more fruitful than his first marriage, and she never swayed in her affections or loyalty towards him. She was legal now. Nothing bound her to him anymore. She could go, yet she stayed. Even after her mother got critically ill and all he could do was to borrow money from Isabelle’s husband to send her home to burry her mother, she returned to him fast and true. He felt guilty and inadequate in the matter, especially since he had not being able to make way for her mother, but she assuaged his burden, telling him Across the whole sea and computer, we are two people who make a whole. It is very special. Many people come together, but not many make a whole. She kissed him on the forehead with her fleshy lips, the smell of lilacs and baby powder engulfed him as she pried a highball of scotch from his hands and led him into their windowless bedroom.

           As I said before, Erv said, your mother is entitled to her own opinions, even if they are unfounded.

          Somewhere in the darkness the hum of the bus’s engine announced that their ride was neat. As a young man, Erv never depicted his life as it was now. For his fiftieth, he thought he’d be on a cruise ship with Racinie in the Bahamas. He also thought he’d have all the answers too. It was a humbling and refreshing realization that he didn’t.

 

 

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